Our subtle aspects, the energetic elements we cannot see and the thought formations we cannot hear, are the foundations of who we are and how we experience this moment. All that we see now is sprouting up from the subtle, just as plants, animals and humans do, from tiny seeds at first unseen.
We can look at every single one of our recorded memories, our conditioned behaviors, as a thread, as thin, yet strong as spider silk. There are billions of them, woven together to form a web within and extending out beyond the lines of the bodies we can see and touch. Every single one of these threads is connected to the energy source within us, however, not all threads are actively illuminated at once. Most of them are rooted deep within the unconscious mind, and therefore not easily accessible, but they are being activated constantly, like strands of Christmas lights, in response to our circumstances.
Imagine an actual formation of spider-web-like threads woven in no particular pattern, but organically, like all the roots covering the entire earth, alive, in communication, moving energy and information. In this kind of organic structure, there would naturally be areas of high density, which are deeply and tightly woven, and other areas that are more spacious and soft.
Now imagine that we want to even out the weave throughout this web. This would not necessarily mean that the tightly woven areas would end up looking like the spacious ones, just that the amount of awareness that can flow throughout becomes more even. Awareness is the key here. We don’t necessarily need to focus on changing the structure of the web. Becoming aware of the individual threads, and connections is enough to bring about a shift that will begin the process.
So often when we move towards some problem with the intention to change or fix it, we are only applying the limited intelligence of our rational mind. But when we move towards our challenges, first, with simple awareness, and then the collected intelligence contained within the boundaries of the rational mind, we have access to far greater power. If we infuse into this the intention to allow all the threads to begin to come undone we give the organic material within space to relax and process any information being held.
The problem is that we have not been taught that it is necessary – as necessary as brushing our teeth – to create the time and space every day to comb through our threads. And on top of that we have this built-in program that is activated when we feel dissatisfied or empty, which enables us to avoid these deeper sensations by distracting us from them. Whether it’s a TV series, a bucket of ice cream, a bottle of vodka, it’s important for you to get to know what your avoidance structure enablers are. It is this awareness that will slowly begin to shift and untangle the deepest, densest root systems within you.
Our avoidance structure enablers are the external manifestation of a root system that is bound up too tight. And the enabling program serves to numb and distract us so that we don’t have to experience the discomfort of the void. We have not been trained how to navigate our inner voids. It’s as simple as that. Perhaps if we were educated about inner navigation, about the body, mind, breath intelligence; how to feel, heal, and direct awareness, many major fissures today (mass anxiety, depression, war) could be healed.
We must begin here and now, wasting no more time waiting for the perfect moment. A perfect moment is an impossibility if you consider the word perfect is defined by ideals created by illusions, encoded into our unconscious by constant media bombardment. The ‘perfect’ moment is the moment that is. Because in its raw form, this moment contains all the medicine required. Growth is a continual process; perfection is now. It is contained in each fleeting moment, which grows on the foundation of the last.
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For there is this great illusion that we need to feel, look, be something else, in some better position, to be able to begin anything. This is a fundamental way of avoiding feeling, and processing the very things that need it most.
We cannot skip a stage, or we are building our palaces on swamps; with unstable foundations, they will collapse. We may reach ideals of success through gain in the physical realms of life, however, until we learn to navigate within our gains will always feel as though they are swallowed by the empty spaces inside.
Start now, exactly where you are, with exactly what arises, as it is. Try not to manipulate, fix, hide, run, distract, avoid. Feel exactly what is. Then feel the automated reactions and inner judgments to what is. Watch like you are watching a storm begin to form. See it churn and shift; allow yourself to feel the growing intensity. And then begin to pool all your focus, feel the storm as fully as you can. Watch it peak, fall and rest.
The nature of everything is a constant evolution, movement, change. So, once we begin to understand that even our deepest voids are not permanent fixtures of our experience, we are more able sit in them – watching, observing, listening; curious, open, playful, as things begin to shift, and change and come undone. And eventually, these spaces no longer feel so empty that we immediately run towards an external plug-in to temporarily satisfy.
There comes a spacious fullness with the undoing, the freeing of threads and connections, and an experience of ease and simple satisfaction which emerges from the inside out.
Love,
Meghan