The situation is neutral.
Sometimes it can appear as though the situations in our lives are charged with a force so strong that they in turn charge up our mind and emotions. This can have a pin ball kind of effect; we begin wildly bouncing off of everything we touch. However, when we take a closer look at our situations and the internal forces affected by them, we discover that it is us, not the situation, that is the cause and effect of that which we are experiencing.
Every time our pinball contacts a surface (situation) our mind creates a reaction. This mechanism of mind is brilliant and allows us, essentially, to conserve energy. It's like an algorithm, a continuous pattern of reaction and prediction of reaction, according to how best reactions will serve us, so that we may efficiently go about tasking in this multidimensional universe.
But these automatic reactions are old programs. They are absorbed behaviors collected largely from our first decade of life, when we were still learning how to get what we needed in order to survive in the world. These reactions are not necessarily optimal, healthy, or serving of our highest growth potentials. They often create further complications and drama in our lives, because the intention behind them is not harmony in the highest sense, but harmony in accordance to the individuals temporary needs and fulfillment of desires for survival.
There is a neutrality to the action which is occurring around us every day. Situations by their nature cannot be in first, fifth gear, or reverse. It is purely our perception which makes them so. We decode and assign gears to each situation automatically, subconsciously, using our internal faculties of collected past perceptions.
So why then do some situations activate such a high charge? For example, my own filters of perception project the fear of rejection and abandonment because one of my first recorded experiences was being adopted. So any notion of being abandoned will activate a charge in me; my filters of perception will colour my situations with this potentiality, even if it is not a reality, because this was a foundational layer of my mind-body's experience.
Left unexamined, this pattern of protection will attempt to sabotage every relationship before it has the chance to hurt me. However if I examine, I can see that each relationship that begins is new and fresh and neutral, that it is only my perceptions and projections that make it appear otherwise.
These projections serve me however, by activating old patterns of perception so that they can be seen and understood in magnification; relationships are neutral, but they will always activate the things inside us that are not, the things that need to be realigned and harmonized so that we can begin to understand how we are wired, how our internal landscape was formed, what is at the roots of every branch and blossom.
Have a look at a situation currently charging you. See the person, place, or thing in your minds eye. Notice and feel the automatic reactions and activations that surge in your body-mind as you call forth this situation. Now, like gently pulling apart a big ball of yarn, make space in the tangle and separate from these reactions. See a big space opening up between yourself and the subject.
Even if a person is calling you names, for example, can you see that this, by its nature, is neutral and that the hurt is being generated inside of you by unconscious choice?
Moment to moment we are delivering assumptions about every situation to ourselves. This generates energy inside us, which in turn creates our sensational experiences.
Now inquire deeper into the sensations and your internal experience, posing the question 'when was the first time I felt a similar reaction/pain/emotion to a situation in my life?'
Receive all the answers in whatever form they come. Try not to hold on to any of them; allow them to wash over you. This is your body-mind opening the spring of old memories, not only to give you insight and understanding into your unconscious programming, but also as a deep release of this old energy and information.
Can you see some deeper roots unfurling? Can you see where in the past you felt similar, and you unconsciously recorded the memory to create a auto patterned reaction to apply to any situation your body-mind recognized as similar and therefore harmful?
Now, can you see your current situation as your guide, your teacher, leading you deep into your internal root systems, showing you where energy and information is locked up in the past, keeping you from fully actualizing the present?
Can you see the neutrality of your current situation?
Give thanks and gratitude to this teacher in whatever form it has arrived. Bow deeply to it for showing up and being the catalyst for deep, penetrative, expansive growth. Journal what you have learned. You can even write the person or situation a thank you letter, you don't have to send it, but it can be a powerful way to further integrate the lessons.